Extremely rude daughter! Was this the right way to punish?

What you did was right. She is 12 and you are the parent, someone needed to put her back in her place. How dare she talk to you like that with little respect. You can't let her walk all over you. At 12 for some reason they all gain this attitude as if they are better then everyone and they can be rude because there hormones are raving. Im 16 and have been educated by parents to respect them and not to talk to them like rubbish. Teach her respect. You didn't just result in , you gave her a warning if she didn't clean her room she couldn't go swimming, and she disobeyed. If continues to disobey take away her privileges don't just her every time. You are a good parent for doing this and you shouldn't feel bad, if anything she should apologize for telling you to go to hell.